Friday, January 22, 2010

Turned Off

Friday Flash Fiction

It had been three days since the accident and Louise was showing no signs of improvement. The time was set, all her family was in the room. Today was the day soon all life lines would be turned off.


The questions on everyone’s minds were huge. Will she make it? Will she by some miracle breathe on her own? Will the damage to her body in the accident some how be repaired? Will she live?

It was midday, the doctor returned to the room. Louise’s family watched as every switch was turned off. Her brother, sisters, parents and grand parents were standing waiting. Their hearts were being ripped out with every moment that passed, watching for the unknown, unable to do anymore than hope. Hope was all they held onto. The machines became silent.

The doctor’s face was emotionless. The nurses stood close by, in support.

The family waited. There was nothing. Louise’s chest lay still. Her mum willed her to breath. But there was nothing, only stillness, quiet and pain.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity Louise’s chest moved and the monitor showed life in her heart.

19 comments:

  1. I've been in those suspended moments. They go on forever.

    Nicely presented.

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  2. I'm glad she took that breath!

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  3. So happy with this ending Michelle. It shows there is hope, and that hope does work. Nice job.

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  4. I'm always so impressed with you guys that can write short stores and flash fiction. I just cant get it together in such a short space. Good job, too.

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  5. Awful decisions that are sometimes thrust upon family members who are already hurting. A nice bit of hope that you gave at the end.

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  6. A very good story, Michelle!

    I, too, like that it ends on a hopeful breath.

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  7. Oh and a happy ending at the end! Phew. I love happy endings!!

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  8. Can I send J this link? I just want to see her face when she knows how many people she's touched.

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  9. Nice job making us feel the hope and fear wrapped in that moment of anticipation. Well done!

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  10. Oh, I'm so happy she breathed! I was there in the moment with her family, willing her to take that breath...especially when you brought her mum into the equation!

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  11. Nice story and surprising ending. Thanks, Michelle.

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  12. Thank you thank you thank you - your comments are very much appreciated.
    I wrote this while the ventilator was being switched off on a twitter friend - life really impacts what I write!

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  13. One of those moments that seem too fast and yet last forever. Well-played... Peace, Linda

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  14. Grr. And yet another one where my post has been eaten...
    Very well written, can't imagine sitting in that room - the fervent hopes would be unbearable.

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  15. The real-life inspired ones always ring truest and this one does. I hope 'J' took that breath! I'm guessing she did. (PS You've got an errant comma in the last line of the first paragraph that threw me for a loop.)

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  16. I could really feel the anticipation in that room and found that I was holding my breath as well. I'm glad we were all able to breathe at the end. Great job.

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  17. Thanks for the comments.
    Lily - I've fixed the comma, thanks for letting me know and yes J's breathing and today was wide awake for the first time in days.

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  18. Hey, this is the 3rd fridayflash in a row that I've read that has a happy (or at least hopeful!) ending - what's going on?!

    Delighted to hear that the person who inspired this also took a breath

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  19. Hope is always something we need desperately, beautiful flash!

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