Thursday, December 17, 2009

DIVE!

Friday Flash Fiction

Take one deep breath. I can’t put it off, I have to go now. Take another breath. Relax, shake loose the muscles. Now, this is it, breathe in, in, in, and hold it. Go! Deeply shooting like an arrow. Water is gushing past my ears. Pressure building, murky transparent water becomes opaque and darkness surrounds. Kicking furiously, determined to reach the bottom. I’m aware of small fish in my peripheral and push the thought of sharks from my mind.



How could this have happened? How did it fall into the water? But it did, it slipped out of my hands and I tried to grab it. I got my fingers to it but it slipped again and splash.


It’s dark, so dark, pressure pounding on my ears, my brain starting to go fuzzy. Still kicking, spiraling slowly, nearing the bottom, looking constantly.


All my breath exhaled. Nothing left, must find it, can’t give up now. Searching quickly with head pulsating, searching with eyes darting. Hands on the sand, trying not to fluff it up. Gently touching all, everywhere patting softly thinking this must be what it’s like to be vision impaired.


Nothing left, no energy, not knowing how I’ll reach the top, about to give up.


What’s that, it’s not sand, it’s smooth, I reach for it again. I link my finger into it. I see it sparkle with the fine slither of light that makes its way through the depths of the ocean.


I find energy from no where and push off from the bottom, sand sprays with my legs kicking and arms flapping. Pressure releases, it’s lighter now, counting down, five, four, three, two, one and … breathe, I made it.


‘Yes,’ I pant for breath. Again I say to my love, ‘Yes, I will marry you.’


We embrace knowing that nothing will ever be lost now that we have found.

19 comments:

  1. Nice description of diving for a ring. Very nice job Michelle. =)

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  2. After that, the wedding should be a cinch! I could feel that running-out-of-breath dive. Great description!

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  3. Nice one, Michelle. I thought perhaps she had lost her wedding ring, but that joy is yet to come (getting married, not loosing the wedding ring).
    ~jon

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  4. Hey this is worth a wedding..!!! Really good, dear M.
    ;)s

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  5. Neat descriptions - you can feel the haste and hurry while reading.

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  6. I held my breath until the last paragraph! Great story.

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  7. Hey, Carrie, Laura, Jon, Dulce, Diandra, Skycycler - thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment xx

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  8. Ooh, this had me holding my breath too. I can't really swim so I was very nervous for the character.

    Am relieved that all is well. Ring is retrieved, the answer is yes, and story is lovely!

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  9. This piece evoked memories of "my precious," from Lord of the Rings. Glad to see your character had a happier ending than the ones I was thinking of. :-) Nice story!

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  10. I could feel the pressure and tension of the deep water swirling in my chest.

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  11. Hi Elizabeth, David and Marissa - thanks for reading, glad I made you feel something... :)

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  12. Great descriptions, Michelle - I was holding my breath also!!!

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  13. FAR OUT WOMAN! Are you trying to kill me? I was holding my breath the entire time. JUST--trying--now--to--catch--my--breath Love it!

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  15. LOVED this. I could feel the panic. [helps that I almost drowned as a kid] then I got done and said wait, was there really water and a lost ring or was it all just a visceral reaction to the proposal...lol...read it again and put two and two together correctly.
    Very Nicely Done.
    Karen :0)

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  16. Really well-done. I am a bit phobic about deep water and having no breath left, so your suspense turned into a little horror for me. Quite a thrill, I must say.

    I love the contrast of life-threatening, desperate situations with ecstatic joy!

    Isn't that the description for all good marriages?

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  17. Is this how most marriages start? Breath holding, diving, pressure, reaching, and release. Exciting start to a journey. Nice capture of an interesting moment.
    -David G Shrock

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  18. PJ, Kelly, Karen, Anne and Draco - thank you all for reading. Glad you enjoyed or felt something while reading - that's what fiction is about :)

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  19. Great work Michelle! I'm also not fond of deep water as I can't hold my breath very long and you described that feeling perfectly. Marriage? Well, it IS breathtaking, that's for sure. :)

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