Friday, October 30, 2009

Piece of Pie

Michelle D Evans
(Friday flash fiction - Written using 'Write or Die')

It was the perfect dinner party. The dinner June had been dreaming about to celebrate mothers day, both families joining for a roast, the kids outside playing and having a ball. This was the first time they had all been together. Mum, Dad, Mother in law, Father in law, Jason's 3 brothers and one sister and her husband, June's twin brother and 2 sisters with their husbands and children.
The house was full but she loved it. The house was noisy but it just felt amazing to be celebrating with everyone. June wanted to wait for the perfect time to tell them all.
The roast was cooked to perfection and enjoyed by all. She couldn’t be happier. While she was serving dessert she thought I’ll tell them just as everyone begins to eat.
They all sat down once again and Jason's father Paul stood up and asked, 'Is it alright if I grab the pie?'
'Why? We are having tiramisu tonight.' June said.
'No thanks, I want pie, I'll just help myself hey?'
'Oh, sit down Paul,' said Jason's mother, 'I'll get for you'.
'Dad, Mum, June has made a delicious dessert - you are being a little rude.'
'No, I'm not - we brought pie and if I want pie I’ll eat pie.'
June burst into tears.
'June, it's just a piece of pie,' said Paul.
'You just don't get it - none of you do - I didn't make pie - I didn't want pie - it's mother's day - oh for goodness sake.'
June ran out of the dinning room.
'June!' followed her younger sister, 'It's just a piece of pie!'
‘What is it?’ asked her older sister. 'Are you pregnant?'
'That's it we're leaving.' The girls overheard Paul inside.
'Dad wait!' called Jason. 'We wanted to tell you something.'
'Well that's obvious! You are either getting divorced, leaving the country or having baby - my guess is it's the latter. See you then, bye.'


  1. What obnoxious in-laws! For me, it was a little bit confusing trying to get all the names and people sorted out in the first paragraph

    Thought: You should give it another proofread. For example, in the second paragraph, last sentence, a word is missing. Also, I believe, in the last paragraph. And I think that a closing quotation mark is missing in one place.

    The ending did not make me warm up to Dad, which was your intention, hehe. What a family!

  2. Hi Marisa, thanks for that - I did rush it - fixed the missing words but not sure about the quotation mark.
    Thanks for reading.

  3. Well, I guess he won't make such a great grandpa either! Poor June. I felt bad for her.

  4. Wow. That story actually makes me appreciate my own disfunctional family...LOL

    Nice work. Hope to see you at Nanowrimo!

  5. When you get a big family group together like that for a special occasion, after all the hard work and expectations it often ends in tears. Jason's dad is just plain nasty though!

  6. This is why I hate family dinners and dread the holidays when we have to decide which house we're all going to. I come from a small family and my husband from a large family so he's used to it. I still cringe. Good story. I can relate.


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